But, there is one thing that makes it ALL worthwile | shyladevonne's Blog

I found love.

In 7th grade one day there was this new kid. In my last class of the day he got assigned the seat next to me. He would always talk to me, but I thought he was annoying and talked about nothing. By the end of the year I was ok with him.

So it's the first day of 8th grade, I walk in and almost all the seats are taken, and I don't really know anyone except for him. Happy to see a familiar face, I sit there. We quickly became friends, best friends. In that grade, we had all our classes with the same people all day, so I saw him a lot. I had started to like him, but I'd push that thought out of my head. "I can't like him, he's my friend". I'd tell myself. Then one day in the spring, after I basically didn't have feelings for him that way anymore, he told me that he liked me. I was overwhelmed and uncomfortable, and avoided being alone with him for a while. I couldn't go out with him, he was my best friend, and he was too immature anyhow. Plus, I liked a bunch of other guys, and he liked other girls. But there was another reason too, a deeper reason that I only partially understood at the time. I told him, "I'll date you in 5 years maybe." This of course sounded absurd to him. I didn't know why, but I knew that if I decided he was my boyfriend, we would be together for a looong time, it'd be different from any other guy, and I wasn't ready for anything like that at 13 years old.

Skip ahead to 9th grade. He still likes me, still always periodically asking me if I'd go out with him. "What if it ruins our friendship?" I'd tell him. "I don't want to risk it." We had so much fun together, that year, and the ones before. We'd always be laughing, always together. People always thought we were a couple, or told us we'd look cute together. They'd always ask why we weren't. Well October 7th 2006 we were in homeroom, I was talking to him. Suddenly, something click. Suddenly, I was looking at him, and I saw the world in his eyes. I felt something speak to me, telling me that there's no way I could let him get away, no way I should pass up this opportunity, he's the most lovely person ever. I told him I'd be his girl.

We dated for a year and a few weeks. We were 14 and in love. Obviously, we didn't know how to handle such a strong feeling. Things weren't perfect, and I was uneasy. I thought again, "I'm not ready for this". As quick as my decision was to date him, I broke up with him late October of 2007. There were other problems as well, all relating to us being too young to handle it. I told him I still wanted to be friends. He couldn't handle that though, he didn't talk to me the same. We drifted apart and went our seperate ways. For nearly a year, we barely spoke. I didn't want it to end that way, but I convinced myself it was for the better, and moved on. Why stay in a relationship I wasn't happy in?

Now onto 10th grade. The first day of school at lunch time, I saw him in line at the cafeteria. I thought it was sad that someone I was once so close to, as close as family, was now someone I never spoke to. I asked him how he was, and he said he'd sit at my table. We sat with some friends, he being one person apart from me. We talked minimally at first, about our summers, anecdotes from our year apart. Then we started talking about more personal things, then the old times. On my birthday in September 2008, he had to do something during lunchtime. Before he left, he gave me a folded piece of paper that said Happy Birthday. I opened it, and it was a poem entitled, "I Miss You". It was the sweetest thing ever. I wrote a response telling him I miss him too. After that, we started becoming almost just as it was before. It was as if someone had pressed a pause button the year before, and had now hit play again. After a while I asked my friend to switch seats with me so I could sit by him. We still were not officially back together, until November.

I knew now that this was true love. There's no way you don't speak to someone for a year, and rekindle everything 10-fold in 3 months. Things took off from there, better than I could have ever imagined. There was such a drastic improvement from last time, in all aspects. Sure we had our arguments, but we stuck it out, we didn't give up, because we were older and more mature. And after every fight, we became closer. We learned something new about eachother, and eliminated one more thing from ever being a problem again.

Now it is senior year, and we are 17. We are closer than ever. We have basically become one. I say things he says, and vice versa. We have not only picked up eachother's sayings and mannerisms, but also philosophies and personality traits. It's like you took 2 different color liquids, and shook them up, mixing and blending, until finally there was a perfect balance and a brilliant hue. I trust him, and he trusts me. We can talk to eachother across the room without saying a word. There's so many times where I say something he was about to say, and vice versa. I never get tired of him, this has been tested. During the summer we couldn't see eachother in person, but we talked on the phone every night for 4-6 hours. I've spent the whole day with him before, and at the end, I want more. We ALWAYS have something to talk about. When I'm with him, it feels like all is right & well. I can connect everything I do throughout the day with something that we talked about. Everything reminds me of him in some way. And just when I think it can't get any better, our love can't get any deeper, it goes to the next level. It gets better & better with time.

So in continuance of my last post, maybe THAT was why I moved up here. We were fated to meet. As much as it does suck as I said, I'd trade nothing in this world for the years I've spent with him. Knowing him has changed me forever, and made me happier than ever. If anything was worth being up here for, it was him.